Saturday, March 15, 2014

StarCraft Interlude: They Can't Take That Away from Me

She found her in the makeshift plasteel rondavel where the medics spent their rare hours of downtime. Moira lay on one of the room’s cots, still wearing the mismatched scrubs she’d borrowed from the medics, poring over something on her datapad. Turning to face the door, she broke into a grin when she saw Angel. “Oh, good!” she said, swinging her socked feet from the footlocker to the floor and setting her pad down. “My knight in darkling armor is still here.”

“Of course.” Angel walked in and closed what passed for the door behind her, noting that only cots and lockers suggested that anyone stayed here. One little electric lamp lit the whole space. “I wouldn’t leave without seeing you first.”

“Relax, Angel. I’m just teasing you.”

“Oh. Okay. Are the twins still working?”

“Yeah, they’re monitoring Fenix and a few others.” Her smile grew a shade more wicked. “Mindy’s hot for him, you know.”

“For Fenix? Really?”

“That’s what she told me, yeah.” Moira blushed a little. “After they made me tell them about us.”

“You told the medics about us?” Angel felt something strangely alien; this relationship wasn’t really a secret, but sharing its existence still seemed premature to her. That’s not it, she thought. You just don’t want Revenant to know. But he did know, and he’d already made it clear that he didn’t approve of this ‘attachment.’

Moira nodded. “Well, yeah. What there is to tell so far, anyway. They can be pretty persuasive.” She stretched out her arms. “So what’s on your mind?”

“I brought you something.” She held out the pair of gray Velcro sneakers she’d found while patrolling the perimeter.

“Oh, thank God!” Moira stood up and whisked the shoes from Angel’s hands, then sat back down, holding one against the sole of her foot before sliding them under her cot. “Yes, these should do nicely. But where did you – wait, no. It’s better if I don’t know.”

“I think that would be best, yes.” Angel figured they’d keep finding bodies from the crash as long as they remained on this planet.

“I’m glad you’re here, actually. I finished my analysis of the infested colonists. I couldn’t determine how long it’s been since they were exposed, but you should definitely anticipate a zerg presence at the colony site.”

“We’ll be ready for them.” She had the utmost confidence in the skills and dedication of her fireteam.

“If they – if those shuttles are still there, do you think Silas can get them up and running?”

“I do, yes. If there’s anything there to save, Mr. Voss can save it.” And then it’ll all be over, Angel thought, and her head sagged.

“Angel? Angel, what’s wrong?”

“You know what happens if we escape, right? What happens to us, I mean? This colonization has been compromised, and we don’t have enough personnel or material to try it again.”

“I think I know where you’re going with this. Come on, sit down.” When Angel moved toward another bunk, Moira added, “Next to me, please.”

She didn’t think the cot would support them both, so she sat on the footlocker. “If we escape this planet, I’ll be reassigned, and I’ll have my memory wiped. And someday I’ll see you on GNN, accepting some science award, and the sight of your face won’t make me feel anything. Not like it does now.” She took a deep breath, feeling the start of a lump in her throat. “But it’ll be so much worse for you, living with the memory of what we could have had.”

“Hey, don’t say that.” Moira took Angel’s hands in hers. “I knew the risks, going into this. My father used to tell me that the hardest thing you can do is care about somebody else, because there’s a hundred different ways it can hurt you. But it’s also the most important thing you can do.”

Angel felt a tear roll down her face, saw Moira’s gaze follow it. “This is just like what happened to Rick, isn’t it? In the movie, I mean.”

“Pretty much. Some things are just more important than your own happiness.”

“I have to put you – and everybody else – on those shuttles, even if I… lose myself doing it.”

Moira reached up to caress Angel’s cheek. “We’ll always have Paris. Well, I’ll always have Paris. Thanks to you and your mission.”

“But it isn’t just my mission, Moira. I want to do it… even if I won’t remember.”

Moira’s smile carried traces of sadness. “There’s hope for you yet. You remind me of a song, Angel.”

“’As Time Goes By’?” The songs from that movie are the only ones I know... but she knows that.

“What? No! I mean, I love that song, of course, but ‘woman needs man’? Not very inclusive, were you, Hupfeld? No, this song. Gershwin.” She reached past Angel to tap her datapad; a woman’s voice sang out, about the end of a romance. “I always wondered who was taking her lover away; I guess now I know.”

“Her voice is beautiful.”

“That’s Ella Fitzgerald, the First Lady of Song. You know, Hal Wallis considered her to play Sam in the movie? She’s always been my favorite.”

“I can see why.”

Moira hummed a few bars, sang a few, then got to her feet, walking to the middle of the rondavel. “Come here,” she said, crooking a finger in Angel’s direction.


“Because I want to dance with you.”

Angel froze. “I don’t know how, Moira.” Oh, come on, Agent. You’ve faced the zerg and you’re afraid of this?

“But it’s so easy. Come on, it’ll be fun.”

Stifling a sigh, Angel stood and walked over to Moira. “Here,” the doctor said, pulling her close, “hold my hand up, like this. Now put your other hand here.” Angel found her hand on Moira’s back, not entirely sure how it got there. “And we just sway back and forth. See? Nice.”

It was, but Angel felt like a thousand butterflies were trying to flit their way out of her chest. “Moira, I – ”

“Shush. Just dance with me. Listen to the song. Be here, now.”

She did. She let herself go, let the butterflies go, and passed being part of the moment to become the moment. Time simply ceased to matter. She didn’t even notice when the song started over.

“You know,” Moira eventually said, her chin resting on Angel’s shoulder, “I was with Nikki for most of three years, and she never once watched Casablanca with me? But you did on the first date.”

“Was it a date?”

“Well, I intend to count it. I don’t know how you do it in the military.”

“Neither do I.”

“I suppose you’ll have to write your own field manual, then.” Moira chewed on her bottom lip for a moment. “I don’t know when you ship out, but the twins won’t be back here for another three hours.”

Angel gave this a moment’s thought. “Did you have another movie to show me?”

“What?” Moira pulled back into Angel’s field of vision. “Well, yes, but I thought we could do… you know… something else.” When Angel didn’t respond, she added: “Something more intimate?”

“Oh? Oh!” Ice and fire seeped into Angel’s blood, and she felt her limbs tense up.

Moira let go and took a step back. “Unless you don’t want to.”

“No, of course I want to.” Indeed, since movie night, Angel had struggled to think about anything else.

“Okay. But you still seem really hesitant. If you aren’t ready, we can just forget I said anything.”

“That’s my problem; I have no idea if I’m ready. How could I know if I can’t remember ever doing it before?”

“Fair enough. I know your hymen’s still intact, for what that’s worth.” She shook her head, laughing. “Clinical language is always a turn-on, isn’t it?” She looked a little disappointed when Angel didn’t laugh. “Sorry, I want to respect the importance of the moment, but I also want to keep it fun. I’m in uncharted waters here.”

“Have you never had sex either?”

“I…” Moira gave her a quizzical look. “Yes, I have. But I’ve never deflowered somebody before.”

“I see. Well, everything I know about the subject comes from what I’ve seen in people’s dreams and waking fantasies. Though it’s… interesting, I doubt it has any practical application.” Most of it seemed downright impossible, really.

“Doubtful, yeah.” The doctor puffed out a breath of air. “I feel like the moment’s slipping away, here. Let’s do an experiment. I’ll provide a stimulus and observe the response. Along the lines of the ‘symptoms’ we talked about on movie night.”

“Sexual arousal. Sure.” Anything would be better than all this anxiety. “What did you have in mind?”

Moira took Angel into her arms again. “This,” she whispered, closing her eyes and tilting her head just before kissing Angel’s lips.

Fireworks exploded in Angel’s brain as Moira held her close, the warm wet softness of the doctor’s mouth sliding against her lips, the natural scent inflaming her nostrils. Moira’s tongue stole into her mouth; when she met it with her own, the doctor gave a hot, deep groan and pulled Angel back toward the cot.

Moira broke the kiss at last, gazing at Angel with dark, half-lidded eyes. “I believe the experiment is a success,” she gasped as she sat on the bed. “How do you feel?”

Angel lowered her psychic defenses, feeding on Moira’s passion until her own rose up to match it. “Like you do.” She kneeled before Moira, the perfect height to start kissing her again.

“I wish we had more time,” Moira panted between kisses. “Your first time should be romantic, and special… we’ll have to do that some other time.” Bringing her mouth to Angel’s ear, she whispered: “Because, right now, I just want to fuck.”

Fumbling with the clasps on Angel’s chestplate for a few moments, Moira gave up and reached down to pull her own shirt up and over her head, allowing her bare breasts to drop into view. Discarding the shirt, she took hold of Angel’s gloved hands and placed one on her stomach, while she pulled the glove off the other.

Moira suddenly stopped and looked Angel right in the eye. “If I do anything for you, or to you, that you don’t like, just tell me, and I’ll stop.”

Angel nodded. As Moira’s breast filled her hand – smaller than her own, and a lighter shade of gold from the doctor’s lovely face – she thought, there’s nothing you could do right now that I wouldn’t like.

Then Angel’s communicator chirped. “Docs cleared me,” Fenix’s voice announced, “so we’re just waitin’ on you now.”

“Oh, damn it,” Moira moaned. “Why am I not surprised?”

“They can wait a few minutes.” Even as Angel said the words, she knew the moment had passed.

“No, no.” Moira fell back onto the cot and out of Angel’s grasp. “For God’s sake, answer him.”

She paused before keying her com to say, “I’m on my way.” She looked into Moira’s eyes. “Moira, I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. I knew this was a possibility.” She laughed. “I should have kept going till I got to ‘inevitability,’ though.”

Angel collected her glove and stood up. “I’ll be back.”

“You damn well better.” Moira grinned at her, also getting to her feet. She threw her arms around the ghost, pressing her naked torso to Angel’s armor. “But you don’t get to leave until I get one last kiss.”

That reminded Angel of the movie. “Should I kiss you as if it were for the last time?”

“Yes,” Moira breathed, parting her lips for the slow, sweet pleasure of the kiss… which very nearly was their last.

*   *   *

Moira danced alone to the jazz until she heard the APC roll out of the camp. Stupid, she knew, to cling to the hope that Angel would come back for her so soon… but, if life at Winchester had taught her anything, it was that a girl could hope.

Angel’s lips still seemed to brush against hers; she still felt the gentle touch of her fingers, the heat of her embrace. She looked down at her bare breasts, her nipples still hard enough to cut glass. Angel had been this close to holding them, touching them, licking them, sucking them…

Moira reached into her panties. Even knowing what she'd find there, she was pleasantly surprised by the cotton fabric's wetness against the back of her hand. Holy shit, she thought, it's like I'm a teenager again. She cupped her pubic mound and gave it a gentle squeeze; the ripples of pleasure that swept through her turned to lightning strokes as she increased the pressure.

“Okay,” she sighed. “I'm gonna die if I don't rub one out right now.”

She switched the room's fan to its highest speed and pointed it straight up. That won't be loud enough to drown me out if I get carried away, but it's all I've got. She shed her scrub pants like a lizard's skin, leaving them pooled on the floor as she eased onto her cot.

As her hands worked light circles around her body, from breasts to waist and back, Moira closed her eyes and recalled the fantasy that had kept her from giving up hope on Winchester. Hua Mulan came to rescue her – disguised as a man, of course – on her way back to her homeland. In Chu Renho’s version of the story, once her femininity was revealed, Mulan committed suicide rather than become the khan’s concubine. But clever Moira, who knew how the story was “supposed” to end, convinced Mulan to marry her and run away first.

Even after the Confederacy rescued Moira, she never let go of the fantasy. Indeed, as she passed through puberty, she relished the thought of playing Mulan’s blushing bride, of feigning surprise on their wedding night, of giving herself to her new wife.

She slowed her breathing, her belly rising and falling beneath her fingers. As much as she’d relied on Mulan over the years, Moira had a new soldier, a real soldier in her life, with gorgeous hazel eyes and no baggage and a tight, sweet ass… Sure, she’s got no sense of humor, but she’ll learn.

Her hands formed a V that glided down over her body. As she touched herself through her underpants, she wondered what sort of lover Angel would be. Inexperienced, sure, but Moira could tell her, show her, how she wanted to be loved, how she needed to be fucked.

If Angel read her mind, she’d know exactly what Moira needed, even the things she feared to say aloud.

As she pictured the ghost coming back into the room, Moira’s breathing quickened, and the circles she ran around her clitoris grew faster and tighter. Her mind’s Angel, still fully clothed and armored, paused only to remove her gloves before taking a knee to gently kiss her. Moira’s hands became Angel’s, exploring her skin, lifting one breast up so Moira could (with some difficulty) lick her own taut nipple. Then she bit it, and not gently, making herself whimper.

One hand pulled her panties aside while the other rubbed the curly mound she’d groomed today in hopes her knight would see it. Slowly and gently at first, her hands gradually worked harder, faster, until she started moaning aloud. I can’t keep quiet; my pussy’s on fire! She was slippery enough to barely feel one finger as she slid it inside, so she sent a second in after it. Moira pushed them in and out, slowly, angling toward her G-spot while she stroked her clit with the other hand. But in her mind, Angel was the one fucking her with both hands – and now her mouth – with passion, with abandon.

Oh, Angel, you fuck me so good! Moira groaned as she came, riding the clench of pleasure for ten long seconds before Angel picked her up and turned her onto her stomach. “What are you doing?” she gasped, half into her pillow, as Angel lifted her pelvis off the cot to bury her face between Moira’s legs.

“What you want me to,” Angel whispered, holding a hand up to Moira’s face. “Get them good and wet.” Three fingers of her other hand were already buried in the heat of her cleft.

As she licked her own (Angel's) fingers, Moira's heart froze. What if one of the twins catches me? The risk of getting caught always lent a secret thrill to masturbation... but, if Lindy was the one to catch her, the medic might join in.

The twins always sounded flirty, no matter whom they spoke to, but the way Lindy reacted to the news of Moira's involvement with Angel said that the medic was at least bisexual. Moira had nearly asked Lindy to put her money where her mouth was before the crash... before Angel had taken over her dreams.

You have your knight in darkling armor now, she thought. Let Lindy join in with Fenix and her sister... Her free hand now slick with spit, she reached back and slid her middle finger up her ass. “Oh, Angel,” she sighed as her muscles adjusted.

“Am I hurting you?” asked the ghost.

“No. I just – I don’t usually do this.” Nikki had never done this to her, in fantasy or reality. “But it feels good.”

“You want me to keep going.”

“Yes, Angel; I want you to fuck my ass. My pussy and my ass.” She felt dirty, even filthy, saying it, but she’d never felt so sexy in all her life.

Angel resumed thrusting; she licked at Moira’s clit, hot breath against her lover’s flesh. “Are you going to come for me, Moira?”

“Yes. Yes. Jesus Chr – “ The hand that worked her sex stopped long enough to spank her ass like a cracking whip, making Moira cry out before it returned to fucking her. “Oh, God DAMN it!” she cried as another climax took over her body, dribbling her juices down on her phantom lover’s face. Angel wrapped her lips around Moira’s clit and sucked hard, causing her to come with so much force that her socked toes curled.

She tried to get her mind’s Angel to peel off her socks and suck her toes next, but it only reminded her of her would-be lover’s absence, which proved to be the beginning of the fantasy’s end. She teased out two final orgasms, neither as powerful as the third, before she ran out of steam and fell onto her bed, panting, sweaty, and exhausted, sure she could still feel Angel’s fingers stroking her back. “Never knew,” she moaned, “could be like this. Never like this before.”

“Shush. You need to sleep, Moira. If you can’t now, there’s nothing more I can do for you.”

“But you never took your clothes off.” She slurred her words. She had seconds of consciousness left, at best.

“Next time,” Angel said. “Sleep. You’re going to need it.”

Angel was right.

Saturday, February 22, 2014

Vote for Me! Or for My NPCs, Really!

I submitted three NPCs to a contest! Please take a minute to visit the above link and vote for Zariel, Kenrick, or Shalenna.

Thanks for your support!

Tuesday, February 18, 2014

Jack Fite and the Golden Panda, Chapter 10

(I tied for second place in a contest for this piece. Both the first place winner and the fellow I tied for second are published big-deal game designers, which makes me feel pretty good about my writing. And no, there aren't any other chapters; that's part of the joke. ;) I blame "Confusing Sequel to a Story You Haven't Read," from Dragon #156 - an April issue, of course.)

Chapter 10: Teahouse of the August Murder!

by Dudley Manlove

Shanghai, 1935

“Guten tag, Herr Fite!” Hauptmann Schurke crowed from somewhere upstairs. “Ping, take his pistol unt let him in.”

Jack Fite scowled as his Colt cleared its under-shoulder holster. Ping pinched the automatic between his fingers, at arm’s length, as if it might go off. He patted Jack down – polite, but very thorough – and waved him past the coat check. Jack set his jaw, tipped his fedora to Ping, and sauntered into the teahouse.

It was a nice place – spacious and charming, even in the dim light and summer warmth. Little wooden stools sat atop the tables, the mosaic floor diligently swept after closing. Jack noted at least three trigger men – probably with MP40s – lurking in the shadows around him. Sure to be more upstairs with the boss.

A short flight of wooden steps led up to a second floor, where Hauptmann Schurke leaned against the rail, his broad smile made all the more unsettling by the patch over his left eye. He held a Luger pistol in one hand.

“Evenin’, Fritz,” Jack drawled, wondering if any other mechanics from Cleveland were off on globetrotting adventures like this right now.

Schurke’s smile flickered. “Ah, yes. American insolence and bravado in the face of danger. Sticks unt stones, Herr Fite. Mein name is Fritz.”

“Huh.” Jack planted his fists on his hips. “Evenin’, Jerry. Ain’t you a sight for sore eyes.”

That killed the smile. Furst’s hand went to his eyepatch – a souvenir of their last encounter. “Mein doctor says that mein eyesight vill return… in time. Still, you should know better by now than to risk mein wrath, Herr Fite. Surely you remember vat happened to Professor Engfors.”

Not an easy thing to forget. Though he’d spent the Great War over Europe in a Sopwith Camel, he’d seen his share of horrors… but those had been nothing compared to the Swedish archaeologist’s fate. He tried not to shudder, firing back, “I’m gonna guess that your Scottish relic hunter found my little present, then. Otherwise I’d be just as dead now.”

There was that damned smile again. “Ja, she did. You are most resourceful, to outmaneuver her, and steal a priceless artifact from a haunted Shaolin monastery.”

“Ghosts shouldn’t know kung fu.” Jack had the bruises to prove it. He’d also bedded the Scot before hitting the monastery, but decided to leave that out. If Schurke knew that Rhona’d been sleeping with the enemy, she might end up like the Professor…

”You have it, then.” The Hauptmann’s eye gleamed.

“Let’s not get ahead of ourselves, Fritzy. Show me the girl.”

Schurke beckoned, and one of his soldiers strong-armed Polly into view. The little brunette was bound at the wrists and ankles, and spitting mad. Still, she looked like a million bucks in that shiny red Chinese dress… “You all right, darlin’?” Jack asked. “They hurt you?”

“Don’t be silly,” she snarled. “Nazi hospitality’s everything you’ve heard.” Her veddy British accent blunted the sarcasm, but only a bit.

“Hang tight, darlin’. I’ll have us out of here in a jiff.”

“Satisfied?” asked the Hauptmann.

Jack shrugged. “Guess I have to be.”

“Good. Now. I hope, for your sake, that you’ve brought it mit you.” When Jack nodded, Schurke pointed his Luger at Polly and growled: “Show me ze Golden Panda.”

Jack thrust his hand into the satchel that hung from his shoulder, hauling out a shining, spherical gold statuette in the image of a panda, with eyes of purest jade. It caught every light in the place, almost seeming to glow from within.

“Set it on ze table,” Schurke ordered, indicating one with his gun.

“Let her go first. This is between you and me, Fritz.” Actually, there were other interested parties, but this negotiation, at least, was between them.

Schurke tilted his head to one side before nodding. Polly’s handler slit her bonds, and she clambered down the stairs into Jack’s arms. Her breath felt hot on his neck, and she smelled like jasmine… and fear. “Sorry, darlin’,” he told her, his voice low. “I never meant for you to get mixed up in this.” Plucky girl reporters always got mixed up in capers like this, but Jack still meant it.

“Get me out of this,” Polly whispered, “and we’ll call it even.”

Jack heard two of the trigger men moving behind them to block the exit. No surprises there… “I’ll see what I can do,” he said with a swallow. He stepped forward and set the Golden Panda on a table, so Schurke could see it.

The Nazi laughed, a hollow, deadly sound. “Herr Fite,” Schurke said, “your stupidity surprises even me. Do you have no plan for escape? Now I haff vhat I vant, and you vill die here, alone and unmissed. How does zat make you feel?”

Jack Fite pushed his neck from one side to the other to crack it, and nudged Polly until she wasn’t standing between Schurke and himself. “I feel glad that I didn’t come here alone,” Jack said with a grin, just before all the lights went out.

“Herr Schurke,” came a sepulchral voice. “The Winding Shroud has come for your soul.”

This was Jack’s only play to get out with the Panda and the girl in one piece – to team up with the supernatural avenger who’d been stalking Schurke since Warsaw. The Shroud was a full-on mystery man who’d almost killed Jack on an airship over Paris, but both men were running out of time…

“Gott in Himmel!” Schurke shrieked. “Kill zem all!”

Jack pushed Polly to the deck and dove for the table to get the Panda, but he misjudged the distance, crashing into the table and sending the priceless artifact flying as the trigger men’s machine guns barked to life…

To Be Continued Next Week… in
Chapter 11: Death Stalks the Catacombs!

StarCraft Interlude: Movie Night

Mutalisk venom made Angel's return to med bay a nauseating blur. Med Officer Lindy removed the spiny wheel of bone from her belly, administered some antivenin, and sent her home once she was well enough to walk.

Now she lay on her back, legs inside her little tent, staring up at unfamiliar stars. Her body was beyond exhausted, but her mind refused to give up on the day, flashing through dozens of tactical plays to try in her next zerg encounter. Her fireteam had proven themselves in every skirmish so far, but the zerg attack today was only the beginning of a concentrated effort to exterminate the terrans.

Angel had to be ready when her moment came, and it could come at any time. Now, if she could only convince her brain to let it go, to admit that she'd be useless to the mission in this fatigued condition...

“Just as I thought,” Dr. Zhang said, walking toward Angel's tent, a small bag slung over her shoulder. “Can't sleep, can you?” Weariness tugged the corners of the doctor's words, but she still managed a smile.


The doctor crouched near Angel's head. “Brain won't quit?”

“No. How did you know?”

“Because I have the same problem. The difference is, I know what to do about it.” Dr. Zhang must have seen the interest on Angel's face. “You need distraction – we both do.”

It was worth a try. “What did you have in mind?”

“Movie night. Do you like movies, Angel?”

“I don’t know. Is that like a holo-flick? I never went to holo-flick night on the Liberty.”

“You’ve never seen a holo-flick?”

“If I have, I don’t remember it.”

Dr. Zhang held up her bag. “Well, I had something of a different vintage in mind. You know how I like old stories.” She glanced at the tent, the light of the three moons dancing in her eyes. “But you’ll have to make some room for me.”

The doctor watched the ghost climb into the tent, head held at a curious angle. “You sleep in your armor?”

“Of course. I have to be ready for an attack at any time.”

“Isn't it uncomfortable? No, wait.” Moira raised a hand. “Let me guess. You're trained for it.”

“That's right.” In truth, it was fairly uncomfortable, for the cool of evening did little to staunch the forest's humidity. But the mission came first.

“Well, I hope you don't mind if I lose my armor. Hold this, please.” Handing Angel the little bag, Dr. Zhang took off her lab coat, balled it up, and tossed it into the tent. She stepped out of her shoes, then stooped to place them inside the tent before climbing inside and zipping the flap shut, laying her head on her rolled-up coat with a groan. “You know I've had a Hell of a day if this is comfortable. Cozy, too. Bet you're glad I cleaned up before I got here.”

Moira smelled like bottled apples, with a hint of something underneath. Angel suddenly wondered how she herself smelled. “Maybe I should have, too.”

“Nah, don’t worry about it.” Dr. Zhang pulled a datapad from her bag. “I can’t believe you’ve never seen a movie. We’ll go straight to the top of the food chain and watch my favorite. If you don’t mind.”

If it’s important to you, Angel thought, it’s important to me. “All right.”

Dr. Zhang held the datapad over her lap and tapped it until a grayscale shield filled the screen. “This was made in black and white,” the doctor said. “Color photography was expensive back then.”

Angel was used to monochromatic holograms… “How long ago is this?”

“More than five hundred years older than we are. Old Earth stuff.”

Angel held her questions as they arose, allowing the story to wash over her. She found the complex emotions surrounding the doctor even more fascinating; though she knew this film by heart, her reactions were too strong for the ghost to block out. A strange unease underlay it all, something Dr. Zhang feared to do, but couldn’t be sure if she could stop herself…

About ten minutes into the movie, when the owner of the nightclub first appeared, Dr. Zhang asked Angel to take the pad, then sat up, crossing her legs in a lotus position. The doctor began kneading the bare flesh of her own upturned soles. Angel didn’t find it distracting – until Moira started moaning. “Are you in pain?” she asked, pausing the movie.

Dr. Zhang nodded. “Those shoes are not meant for standing up all day. I’d kill for a pair of sneakers, if you could find some in a seven.”

“I believe Mr. Ashe has already salvaged everything of value from the Liberty. Have you checked with him?”

“Yeah. Not willing to pay what he's asking.”

“Then I’ll keep an eye out at the other sites.”

“Thanks,” Moira said with a warm smile. “You’re gonna save me again, Angel.”

Angel knew what Moira really wanted, if not why she feared to ask. “In the meantime, I can rub your feet for you, if you like.”

She didn’t miss the doctor’s gasp. “I didn’t want to impose.”

“It’s all right; I don’t mind.”

“I’ll be your best friend,” Moira said in a sing-song, childlike voice.

They shifted around until they faced each other, Moira’s feet in Angel’s lap, the datapad propped up on the bag between them. Angel went to work as the movie continued, finding a strange satisfaction in her friend’s relief, in the gentle rhythm of her breathing, the softness of her skin.

“I think you are my best friend,” she eventually told Moira as she worked the doctor’s heel.


“Sure.” Well, you might be my only friend. “I… I don’t wholly understand your interest in me. But I appreciate it.” I don’t understand why I’m interested in you, either.

“That’s great, Angel. I’m happy to be your friend. This is… this is nice.” Something bittersweet hid beneath her words. “You can – you should use more pressure, though. You’re making me ticklish.”

Angel complied, pressing her knuckles into one sole, then the other. “Why are you sad, then?”

“Is it that obvious?” she said with a dismissive, defensive laugh.

“I’m having a hard time blocking out your feelings.” She’d never been this close to Moira, had never been alone with her. And Angel was too tired to concentrate on maintaining the psychic wall.

“This just reminds me of what I gave up to be here.” She sighed. “I was engaged before I signed up for this expedition. I thought my fiancĂ©e shared my need for a new start, for adventure.”

“But he didn’t?”

”She didn’t, no.” Moira reached to pause the movie again, keeping her feet in Angel’s hands. “That doesn’t weird you out, does it?”

“What? That you were going to marry?”

“That I was going to marry a woman, Angel. That I’m gay. Does that weird you out?”

“No, of course not. Why would it?”

“People are still weird about it, sometimes.” Her eyelids fluttered as Angel worked on her instep. “Religious types, mostly.”

The idea that someone could hate someone else over something so innate as sexual orientation struck Angel as unfathomable. Didn’t humanity have more important things to worry about? “I’ve visited the dreams of nearly everybody in this camp,” she said, trying to sound reassuring. “I don’t think you have anything to worry about.”

Moira swallowed her reply and restarted the movie, watching in silence until a man and woman appeared on the screen, entering the nightclub. A wave of desire rolled off the doctor to wash over Angel. “Hallelujah,” Moira said. “Here she comes.”

“I imagine the man is Laszlo, but who is she?”

“Ilsa Lund, my Angel. Portrayed by Ingrid fuck-mothering Bergman.”

“You’re… fond of her.”

“Understatement of the year. Wait for the close-up.” As the prefect of police complimented Ilsa, the friendly reserve of her smile triggered a… reaction in Angel. Though similar to what she felt from Moira, it didn’t come from Moira – this was something entirely her own. Ilsa Lund was indisputably beautiful, but Angel’s sudden appreciation of that beauty was not strictly intellectual.

“I know, right?” Moira wore a knowing expression. A telling expression. “Isn’t she luminous? The first time I saw her in this, I was too young to know I was gay… but it showed me that I’d never be 100% straight.”

Angel glanced from the screen to the doctor. Something about the way Moira looked at the ghost reminded her of the way Moira looked at Ilsa – both more immediate and more guarded. Not the idealized longing for a fictitious woman portrayed by someone who'd been dead for five centuries... no, this was something else.

And she suddenly realized how beautiful Moira was. She sensed luminosity in the doctor's being, stronger than Ilsa’s camera-granted aura. Something foreign surged up in Angel again, an odd, secret thrill that left her more confused than before. She wants me, Angel thought, and she hates herself for it. She looked down at the bare feet in her lap, wondered if there were a sexual element to this massage she hadn't realized... and her hands kept working, pulling each toe in turn. Even her feet are beautiful... “She is very pretty,” Angel managed to say. “I’m not sure if I’m sexually attracted to her, though.”

Moira snorted with laughter. “Hey, I didn’t say you had to agree with me.” She paused, becoming more serious. “Have you experienced sexual attraction yet, though?”

“No. I don’t think so. What are the symptoms?”

“Symptoms? Well, it is like a disease, I suppose. Harder, faster breathing. Increased heart rate and blood pressure. Erection of the nipples. Swelling of the external genitals, and increased lubrication inside the vagina.” Moira listed these with clinical detachment, ticking them off on the fingers of one hand. But Angel suspected that the doctor might be experiencing some of those symptoms herself. “Any of that sound familiar?”

“No,” Angel said again, over a hitch in her own breathing. “I don’t think so.”

“I see. Well, asexuality is a possibility. But I should tell you.” Moira paused the movie again before dropping her voice. “The Dominion had you on a regimen of hormonal suppressants before the crash. I don’t know how long it’ll take your system to flush that out, or what the effect will be once you do. But… I thought you should know.”

A chill swept through Angel’s body. Her hands paused, still lightly touching Moira. “They did what?”

“I know; it’s awful. But now that you’re off that stuff, and your chip is fried, I think you’ve got a shot – a real shot at being human.”

“Human? I don’t know the first thing about being human.” The Dominion had certainly seen to that. Anger bloomed in her heart, and she wondered if this was how Sarah Kerrigan felt when she turned her back on her own people.

I’m not like her. I’m loyal to the Dominion.

Of course you are, Agent  X72037N; that’s how they made you. And that’s how they made her.

“Maybe not,” Dr. Zhang said, ending Angel’s mental tangent. “Maybe you don’t have a foundation of experiences to help you make any sense of what you’re feeling.”

“I’m not feeling anything,” Angel lied. “My emotions are under control.”

“I don’t have to be psychic to spot that lie. My point is that you can learn to be human.” Moira pulled her feet away from Angel and rose to her knees, taking hold of her hands and bringing her face closer to the ghost’s. “Your alternative is to end up like Revenant, and I know you don’t want that.”

“No.” She finally admitted it. “No, I don’t.”

“Then let me help you.”

“Out of kindness, I suppose.”

Moira looked hurt. “Mostly, yes. If you must know, Dr. Dark is invested in our relationship. He appreciates any soldiers who are sympathetic to us scientists – but I promise, I’m not going to use you like that.”

“That could ruin your plans to get into my pants.”

“I – is that what you think this is about?” Moira’s face flushed, and she looked away.

“I know that’s part of it, yes.”

When she met Angel’s gaze again, she did so shyly. “Okay, yeah. But it’s only a small part.” She let go of Angel’s hands. “I won’t push you into anything, Angel. If you don’t feel the same way, that’s fine. You’d hardly be the first unrequited crush I’ve ever had. But I swear to you, I only want to help you find yourself. You can…” She swallowed. “You can read my mind if you don’t believe me.”

“No,” Angel said at once, knowing what a compromise that would be for Moira. “I don’t need to do that, Doctor.”

“Oh, for God’s sake, call me Moira,” she said with nervous laughter, grateful for the broken tension.

“All right. Moira.” It felt good, and right, to call her friend by her first name. Maybe Moira would be more than a friend to her, in time; this was a good place to start. “So what happens now?”

“I think we should finish the movie, or try to, and get some sleep. I don’t know how much awake I’ve got left in me. We aren’t gonna work everything out tonight, so let’s not try.”

Angel nodded her agreement and stretched back out to her original position.  Around the time Rick told the band to play “La Marseillaise,” Moira laid her head on the ghost’s shoulder and softly said, “Thank you for sharing this with me.”

She looked into the doctor’s dark brown eyes, at the enigmatic smile on her lips, and the urge to kiss her exploded inside Angel. She wondered if she’d ever wanted anything so badly… if she’d ever felt something like this before, only to have the Dominion steal it from her. As much as she loved the terran cause, this seemed like a far better thing to fight, and to die, for.

“You’re welcome,” she finally said, and turned back to the screen.

Moira fell asleep soon after, leaving Angel to watch the end of the movie alone. Finding its message almost impossibly relevant, she knew she and the doctor would have much to talk about at their next opportunity…

When she awoke with Moira’s arm across her armored chest, Angel knew she’d had a dream, but couldn’t remember a thing about it.