She found her in the makeshift plasteel rondavel where the medics spent their rare hours of downtime. Moira lay on one of the room’s cots, still wearing the mismatched scrubs she’d borrowed from the medics, poring over something on her datapad. Turning to face the door, she broke into a grin when she saw Angel. “Oh, good!” she said, swinging her socked feet from the footlocker to the floor and setting her pad down. “My knight in darkling armor is still here.”
“Of course.” Angel walked in and closed what passed for the door behind her, noting that only cots and lockers suggested that anyone stayed here. One little electric lamp lit the whole space. “I wouldn’t leave without seeing you first.”
“Relax, Angel. I’m just teasing you.”
“Oh. Okay. Are the twins still working?”
“Yeah, they’re monitoring Fenix and a few others.” Her smile grew a shade more wicked. “Mindy’s hot for him, you know.”
“For Fenix? Really?”
“That’s what she told me, yeah.” Moira blushed a little. “After they made me tell them about us.”
“You told the medics about us?” Angel felt something strangely alien; this relationship wasn’t really a secret, but sharing its existence still seemed premature to her. That’s not it, she thought. You just don’t want Revenant to know. But he did know, and he’d already made it clear that he didn’t approve of this ‘attachment.’
Moira nodded. “Well, yeah. What there is to tell so far, anyway. They can be pretty persuasive.” She stretched out her arms. “So what’s on your mind?”
“I brought you something.” She held out the pair of gray Velcro sneakers she’d found while patrolling the perimeter.
“Oh, thank God!” Moira stood up and whisked the shoes from Angel’s hands, then sat back down, holding one against the sole of her foot before sliding them under her cot. “Yes, these should do nicely. But where did you – wait, no. It’s better if I don’t know.”
“I think that would be best, yes.” Angel figured they’d keep finding bodies from the crash as long as they remained on this planet.
“I’m glad you’re here, actually. I finished my analysis of the infested colonists. I couldn’t determine how long it’s been since they were exposed, but you should definitely anticipate a zerg presence at the colony site.”
“We’ll be ready for them.” She had the utmost confidence in the skills and dedication of her fireteam.
“If they – if those shuttles are still there, do you think Silas can get them up and running?”
“I do, yes. If there’s anything there to save, Mr. Voss can save it.” And then it’ll all be over, Angel thought, and her head sagged.
“Angel? Angel, what’s wrong?”
“You know what happens if we escape, right? What happens to us, I mean? This colonization has been compromised, and we don’t have enough personnel or material to try it again.”
“I think I know where you’re going with this. Come on, sit down.” When Angel moved toward another bunk, Moira added, “Next to me, please.”
She didn’t think the cot would support them both, so she sat on the footlocker. “If we escape this planet, I’ll be reassigned, and I’ll have my memory wiped. And someday I’ll see you on GNN, accepting some science award, and the sight of your face won’t make me feel anything. Not like it does now.” She took a deep breath, feeling the start of a lump in her throat. “But it’ll be so much worse for you, living with the memory of what we could have had.”
“Hey, don’t say that.” Moira took Angel’s hands in hers. “I knew the risks, going into this. My father used to tell me that the hardest thing you can do is care about somebody else, because there’s a hundred different ways it can hurt you. But it’s also the most important thing you can do.”
Angel felt a tear roll down her face, saw Moira’s gaze follow it. “This is just like what happened to Rick, isn’t it? In the movie, I mean.”
“Pretty much. Some things are just more important than your own happiness.”
“I have to put you – and everybody else – on those shuttles, even if I… lose myself doing it.”
Moira reached up to caress Angel’s cheek. “We’ll always have Paris. Well, I’ll always have Paris. Thanks to you and your mission.”
“But it isn’t just my mission, Moira. I want to do it… even if I won’t remember.”
Moira’s smile carried traces of sadness. “There’s hope for you yet. You remind me of a song, Angel.”
“’As Time Goes By’?” The songs from that movie are the only ones I know... but she knows that.
“What? No! I mean, I love that song, of course, but ‘woman needs man’? Not very inclusive, were you, Hupfeld? No, this song. Gershwin.” She reached past Angel to tap her datapad; a woman’s voice sang out, about the end of a romance. “I always wondered who was taking her lover away; I guess now I know.”
“Her voice is beautiful.”
“That’s Ella Fitzgerald, the First Lady of Song. You know, Hal Wallis considered her to play Sam in the movie? She’s always been my favorite.”
“I can see why.”
Moira hummed a few bars, sang a few, then got to her feet, walking to the middle of the rondavel. “Come here,” she said, crooking a finger in Angel’s direction.
“Because I want to dance with you.”
Angel froze. “I don’t know how, Moira.” Oh, come on, Agent. You’ve faced the zerg and you’re afraid of this?
“But it’s so easy. Come on, it’ll be fun.”
Stifling a sigh, Angel stood and walked over to Moira. “Here,” the doctor said, pulling her close, “hold my hand up, like this. Now put your other hand here.” Angel found her hand on Moira’s back, not entirely sure how it got there. “And we just sway back and forth. See? Nice.”
It was, but Angel felt like a thousand butterflies were trying to flit their way out of her chest. “Moira, I – ”
“Shush. Just dance with me. Listen to the song. Be here, now.”
She did. She let herself go, let the butterflies go, and passed being part of the moment to become the moment. Time simply ceased to matter. She didn’t even notice when the song started over.
“You know,” Moira eventually said, her chin resting on Angel’s shoulder, “I was with Nikki for most of three years, and she never once watched Casablanca with me? But you did on the first date.”
“Was it a date?”
“Well, I intend to count it. I don’t know how you do it in the military.”
“Neither do I.”
“I suppose you’ll have to write your own field manual, then.” Moira chewed on her bottom lip for a moment. “I don’t know when you ship out, but the twins won’t be back here for another three hours.”
Angel gave this a moment’s thought. “Did you have another movie to show me?”
“What?” Moira pulled back into Angel’s field of vision. “Well, yes, but I thought we could do… you know… something else.” When Angel didn’t respond, she added: “Something more intimate?”
“Oh? Oh!” Ice and fire seeped into Angel’s blood, and she felt her limbs tense up.
Moira let go and took a step back. “Unless you don’t want to.”
“No, of course I want to.” Indeed, since movie night, Angel had struggled to think about anything else.
“Okay. But you still seem really hesitant. If you aren’t ready, we can just forget I said anything.”
“That’s my problem; I have no idea if I’m ready. How could I know if I can’t remember ever doing it before?”
“Fair enough. I know your hymen’s still intact, for what that’s worth.” She shook her head, laughing. “Clinical language is always a turn-on, isn’t it?” She looked a little disappointed when Angel didn’t laugh. “Sorry, I want to respect the importance of the moment, but I also want to keep it fun. I’m in uncharted waters here.”
“Have you never had sex either?”
“I…” Moira gave her a quizzical look. “Yes, I have. But I’ve never deflowered somebody before.”
“I see. Well, everything I know about the subject comes from what I’ve seen in people’s dreams and waking fantasies. Though it’s… interesting, I doubt it has any practical application.” Most of it seemed downright impossible, really.
“Doubtful, yeah.” The doctor puffed out a breath of air. “I feel like the moment’s slipping away, here. Let’s do an experiment. I’ll provide a stimulus and observe the response. Along the lines of the ‘symptoms’ we talked about on movie night.”
“Sexual arousal. Sure.” Anything would be better than all this anxiety. “What did you have in mind?”
Moira took Angel into her arms again. “This,” she whispered, closing her eyes and tilting her head just before kissing Angel’s lips.
Fireworks exploded in Angel’s brain as Moira held her close, the warm wet softness of the doctor’s mouth sliding against her lips, the natural scent inflaming her nostrils. Moira’s tongue stole into her mouth; when she met it with her own, the doctor gave a hot, deep groan and pulled Angel back toward the cot.
Moira broke the kiss at last, gazing at Angel with dark, half-lidded eyes. “I believe the experiment is a success,” she gasped as she sat on the bed. “How do you feel?”
Angel lowered her psychic defenses, feeding on Moira’s passion until her own rose up to match it. “Like you do.” She kneeled before Moira, the perfect height to start kissing her again.
“I wish we had more time,” Moira panted between kisses. “Your first time should be romantic, and special… we’ll have to do that some other time.” Bringing her mouth to Angel’s ear, she whispered: “Because, right now, I just want to fuck.”
Fumbling with the clasps on Angel’s chestplate for a few moments, Moira gave up and reached down to pull her own shirt up and over her head, allowing her bare breasts to drop into view. Discarding the shirt, she took hold of Angel’s gloved hands and placed one on her stomach, while she pulled the glove off the other.
Moira suddenly stopped and looked Angel right in the eye. “If I do anything for you, or to you, that you don’t like, just tell me, and I’ll stop.”
Angel nodded. As Moira’s breast filled her hand – smaller than her own, and a lighter shade of gold from the doctor’s lovely face – she thought, there’s nothing you could do right now that I wouldn’t like.
Then Angel’s communicator chirped. “Docs cleared me,” Fenix’s voice announced, “so we’re just waitin’ on you now.”
“Oh, damn it,” Moira moaned. “Why am I not surprised?”
“They can wait a few minutes.” Even as Angel said the words, she knew the moment had passed.
“No, no.” Moira fell back onto the cot and out of Angel’s grasp. “For God’s sake, answer him.”
She paused before keying her com to say, “I’m on my way.” She looked into Moira’s eyes. “Moira, I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be. I knew this was a possibility.” She laughed. “I should have kept going till I got to ‘inevitability,’ though.”
Angel collected her glove and stood up. “I’ll be back.”
“You damn well better.” Moira grinned at her, also getting to her feet. She threw her arms around the ghost, pressing her naked torso to Angel’s armor. “But you don’t get to leave until I get one last kiss.”
That reminded Angel of the movie. “Should I kiss you as if it were for the last time?”
“Yes,” Moira breathed, parting her lips for the slow, sweet pleasure of the kiss… which very nearly was their last.
* * *
Moira danced alone to the jazz until she heard the APC roll out of the camp. Stupid, she knew, to cling to the hope that Angel would come back for her so soon… but, if life at Winchester had taught her anything, it was that a girl could hope.
Angel’s lips still seemed to brush against hers; she still felt the gentle touch of her fingers, the heat of her embrace. She looked down at her bare breasts, her nipples still hard enough to cut glass. Angel had been this close to holding them, touching them, licking them, sucking them…
Moira reached into her panties. Even knowing what she'd find there, she was pleasantly surprised by the cotton fabric's wetness against the back of her hand. Holy shit, she thought, it's like I'm a teenager again. She cupped her pubic mound and gave it a gentle squeeze; the ripples of pleasure that swept through her turned to lightning strokes as she increased the pressure.
“Okay,” she sighed. “I'm gonna die if I don't rub one out right now.”
She switched the room's fan to its highest speed and pointed it straight up. That won't be loud enough to drown me out if I get carried away, but it's all I've got. She shed her scrub pants like a lizard's skin, leaving them pooled on the floor as she eased onto her cot.
As her hands worked light circles around her body, from breasts to waist and back, Moira closed her eyes and recalled the fantasy that had kept her from giving up hope on Winchester. Hua Mulan came to rescue her – disguised as a man, of course – on her way back to her homeland. In Chu Renho’s version of the story, once her femininity was revealed, Mulan committed suicide rather than become the khan’s concubine. But clever Moira, who knew how the story was “supposed” to end, convinced Mulan to marry her and run away first.
Even after the Confederacy rescued Moira, she never let go of the fantasy. Indeed, as she passed through puberty, she relished the thought of playing Mulan’s blushing bride, of feigning surprise on their wedding night, of giving herself to her new wife.
She slowed her breathing, her belly rising and falling beneath her fingers. As much as she’d relied on Mulan over the years, Moira had a new soldier, a real soldier in her life, with gorgeous hazel eyes and no baggage and a tight, sweet ass… Sure, she’s got no sense of humor, but she’ll learn.
Her hands formed a V that glided down over her body. As she touched herself through her underpants, she wondered what sort of lover Angel would be. Inexperienced, sure, but Moira could tell her, show her, how she wanted to be loved, how she needed to be fucked.
If Angel read her mind, she’d know exactly what Moira needed, even the things she feared to say aloud.
As she pictured the ghost coming back into the room, Moira’s breathing quickened, and the circles she ran around her clitoris grew faster and tighter. Her mind’s Angel, still fully clothed and armored, paused only to remove her gloves before taking a knee to gently kiss her. Moira’s hands became Angel’s, exploring her skin, lifting one breast up so Moira could (with some difficulty) lick her own taut nipple. Then she bit it, and not gently, making herself whimper.
One hand pulled her panties aside while the other rubbed the curly mound she’d groomed today in hopes her knight would see it. Slowly and gently at first, her hands gradually worked harder, faster, until she started moaning aloud. I can’t keep quiet; my pussy’s on fire! She was slippery enough to barely feel one finger as she slid it inside, so she sent a second in after it. Moira pushed them in and out, slowly, angling toward her G-spot while she stroked her clit with the other hand. But in her mind, Angel was the one fucking her with both hands – and now her mouth – with passion, with abandon.
Oh, Angel, you fuck me so good! Moira groaned as she came, riding the clench of pleasure for ten long seconds before Angel picked her up and turned her onto her stomach. “What are you doing?” she gasped, half into her pillow, as Angel lifted her pelvis off the cot to bury her face between Moira’s legs.
“What you want me to,” Angel whispered, holding a hand up to Moira’s face. “Get them good and wet.” Three fingers of her other hand were already buried in the heat of her cleft.
As she licked her own (Angel's) fingers, Moira's heart froze. What if one of the twins catches me? The risk of getting caught always lent a secret thrill to masturbation... but, if Lindy was the one to catch her, the medic might join in.
The twins always sounded flirty, no matter whom they spoke to, but the way Lindy reacted to the news of Moira's involvement with Angel said that the medic was at least bisexual. Moira had nearly asked Lindy to put her money where her mouth was before the crash... before Angel had taken over her dreams.
You have your knight in darkling armor now, she thought. Let Lindy join in with Fenix and her sister... Her free hand now slick with spit, she reached back and slid her middle finger up her ass. “Oh, Angel,” she sighed as her muscles adjusted.
“Am I hurting you?” asked the ghost.
“No. I just – I don’t usually do this.” Nikki had never done this to her, in fantasy or reality. “But it feels good.”
“You want me to keep going.”
“Yes, Angel; I want you to fuck my ass. My pussy and my ass.” She felt dirty, even filthy, saying it, but she’d never felt so sexy in all her life.
Angel resumed thrusting; she licked at Moira’s clit, hot breath against her lover’s flesh. “Are you going to come for me, Moira?”
“Yes. Yes. Jesus Chr – “ The hand that worked her sex stopped long enough to spank her ass like a cracking whip, making Moira cry out before it returned to fucking her. “Oh, God DAMN it!” she cried as another climax took over her body, dribbling her juices down on her phantom lover’s face. Angel wrapped her lips around Moira’s clit and sucked hard, causing her to come with so much force that her socked toes curled.
She tried to get her mind’s Angel to peel off her socks and suck her toes next, but it only reminded her of her would-be lover’s absence, which proved to be the beginning of the fantasy’s end. She teased out two final orgasms, neither as powerful as the third, before she ran out of steam and fell onto her bed, panting, sweaty, and exhausted, sure she could still feel Angel’s fingers stroking her back. “Never knew,” she moaned, “could be like this. Never like this before.”
“Shush. You need to sleep, Moira. If you can’t now, there’s nothing more I can do for you.”
“But you never took your clothes off.” She slurred her words. She had seconds of consciousness left, at best.
“Next time,” Angel said. “Sleep. You’re going to need it.”
Angel was right.